Lisa the water spinner

I took the baby steps of talking about numerous things about my schizophrenia today with a social worker she now knows all about my delusional hallucinations that I call my crazy she also knows that I spent a few months avoiding having to come to terms with being schizophrenic. She knows why I messed up my one support group and thinks I need them back. It was good to talk especially about the passing of my grandmother. I find it so easy to type but with words as a person I don’t know how to use my words.

Ever had a disaster where you have broken your phone and had to buy any new phone to replace it. That is what happened to me, I dropped my phone and damaged the screen beyond usable in the process it was just a black screen after dropping. I might be a schizophrenic loner but I too have profiles that I use, I’m glad to say when I configured them all I used Google sign in, including this blog with jetpack that I usually do wordless Wednesday from, that is where you post a blog post without words. I missed wordless Wednesday this week and have to wait until next week for my nature pictures that I feel need no words in this digital world.

I panicked a bit at the thought of being without a phone and bought the cheapest phone I could find, whilst I start saving for a new decent phone for I am a pauper, a schizophrenic lonely pauper that genuinely gets social needs met by taking part in wordless Wednesday and seeing that people like my pictures of nature. It’s a symptom of schizophrenia to socially isolate. I’m quiet and awkward around people but have no problems talking online besides the little I have to say. This blog is a diary of a schizophrenic loner and a catalogue of pictures working on my need to become more social.

Sat in a park doing wordless Wednesday where I make a wordless blog post. I try and use water because in this digital world water needs no words

After missing my walk and talk group for mental health they left early today and I was left behind I decided that i would talk on my blog about the improvement I have made regarding my schizophrenia over the last two months. Getting out on a walk and talk has helped improvements no end. It even taught me that walking at least half hour a day improves mental well-being especially if you are a silent loner like myself.

It is here I started the journey I’m at the beginning of, where I use digital technology an app named inaturalist to gather the local flowers, especially wild flowers and find out what they are called. This is the thing about moving to a new town and being a schizophrenic Loner everyone knows something about different things to myself. In this town everyone seems to know about nature and flowers that I have met.

Taking baby steps to recovery from schizophrenia is the mission and for the last month there has been a few baby steps that I have shuffled along taking. It’s been done with lots of pondering of the term baby steps and I can think of no better example than with my learning the very basics about wild flowers in town to fit in a bit more (and remember my long passed grand father), yes, I’m one of those schizophrenic Loner people that has completely self isolated,A but what about in other parts of my life?

I made another baby step on my map building project today after a year, and I wonder had my project being on hold for a year been some sort of fate for the better, did ‘God’s plan’ I don’t even believe in God but did the grand tapestry stop my making progress to my project to prevent me ruining it with delusion of schizophrenia. Today I put the balls in motion to carry on my project one month free of delusional hallucinating.

To be silent at the rivers edge is to hear how loads nature is, being a schizophrenic loner I live in silence and ponder, ponder the nature the movements of themselves from habitat to habitat the way the water moves and the clouds. We must not destroy our nature with concrete and over tended green spaces. Sat on a bench listening to the tweets and chirps etc of the nature around me, I think too often we put ease of life before natural beauty especially in this digital world.

I moved to a new town relatively recently and everyone I met knows something about flowers, so I just began a journey into learning a few bit and bobs for myself. It reminds me of a grandfather the died when I was a child. I remember looking through his books for the birds I had spotted with him. I remember very little of that now but he is my inspiration as I settle into my new life so to speak. Road to recovery from schizophrenia reignite a love of nature that I had with the fields that surrounded where both my grandparents lived growing up.

Walking apparently improves one’s mental health so a walk through all the green spaces each day observing nature at its best seems like I good place to start. I can use the wonders of technology to learn as I go along, baby step by baby step.